Trader Vic's

Liver, you're about to do WORK!

Trader Vic's

9 Anchor Drive

Emeryville, CA

At first, I balked at the nearly-$10 cocktail, legend or not.

Four sips in, the knock-me-on-my-ass concoction that is the Original Mai Tai seemed (a) like a sheer bargain and (b) like a potential nightmare for my lightweight innards unless I got to some food, STAT.  I perused a lengthy menu of Polynesian treats, trying to ignore a particular tiki mask on a distant wall which reminded me of the Hawaiian vacation episodes of The Brady Bunch.

Crispy Duck Tacos did the trick, oozing with plum sauce inside fried won ton shells which also held julienned vegetables I was too ravenous to identify before devouring them.  The Mahi Mahi Sliders' buns provided some much-needed absorbent carbs, and slaw dripped sloppily from my jowls.

So into this meal was I that I hadn't noticed several elderly couples had arrived, with matching shirts to boot.  Is this what my future holds?  Aloha, indeed.

Papa Bear's Chocolate Haus

One (seven), please!

Papa Bear's Chocolate Haus

45150 Main Street

Mendocino, CA

I arrived twenty minutes before business hours.  Argh!

Like a bad Mervyn's commercial actor, I paced and waited for the doors to open.  My mission?   Raspberry Bark.  It was all I could think about.  Through the front window, I could see a single gentleman inside, carefully spreading white chocolate to a precise thickness on a huge marble (?) counter. Nineteen more minutes.  Next, he uniformly sprinkled fresh raspberries atop the chocolate.  Eighteen more minutes.  I had to get out of there before I started salivating all over myself.

I found a kitchen store - the perfect place to kill seventeen minutes.

Finally, the doors opened.  What the hell?  I guess I spent more time browsing for aprons and cheese graters than I had thought, because I was tenth in line; no worries though, because the candy maker was just about to divide the slab into manageable slices.

One, please!

I was hooked after the first bite.  Where in the world did they find these raspberries?  Clearly, someone had sold his soul to the devil. One after the other, they burst inside my mouth.  They were juicy, amazingly tart, and perfectly complemented the smooth, white chocolate.  I almost forgot I had also purchased haystacks, fudge and chocolate nut clusters.

Almost.

Jacob's Produce

Stop here if you know what's good for you!

Jacob's Produce
10954 E. Highway 120
Manteca, CA

Roadside fruit and veggie stands are some of my favorite things about California.

I would have passed Jacob's completely had it not been for the cars and trucks out front that caught my eye.  I couldn't resist stopping after spotting mounds of vibrant, fresh produce.

I started grabbing and filling bags as if it were some kind of ridiculous contest a la "Supermarket Sweep". A few apricots here, two avocados there, a bunch of bananas, a netted bag of garlic, and several red potatoes.  I must have looked like a loon to the young lady behind the register...

Grand total?  Six bucks and change.  What a steal!  Supermarkets can't even come close to that quality for the price.  Be a peach. Support your local growers!

Machado Orchards

I'll take seven, please!

Machado Orchards

100 Apple Lane

Auburn, CA

There's a long-standing debate between fans of Machado's and Ikeda's (across the freeway) because they both serve up some pretty phenomenal pies.

If you ask me, they both have their merits...but Machado's pie and fruit products take the cake (!), hands down, in the dessert battle.

During my visit, no less than half a dozen ladies scurried about the kitchen, fitting pie tins with dough, piling fruit sky-high into those tins, then crimping the edges of the top layer of dough to seal in the goodness. Along the wall, rows upon rows of pies were cooling; one of the managers kindly opened the sliding window so I could get a better photo.

Unfortunately, Machado was one of my first stops of the day, so it was hours before I could sample my first bite of the whole apple pie I had taken home.  It was worth the wait; tender, flaky crust, firm apples with the right combination of tartness and sweetness, and a subtle blend of spices that didn't overpower the fruit.  Perfection.

Get your burger at Ikeda's, then head over the freeway for dessert.  Or do dessert first.  Who am I to judge?

Ichiban Japanese Restaurant

Yee-haw!  Seaweed!

Ichiban Japanese Restaurant

2011 S. Broadway

Santa Maria, CA

As expected, I devoured some good ol' BBQ the moment I landed in Santa Maria.  But, after two days of leftovers, I was ready for something new.  A little online research pointed me to a nondescript Japanese restaurant in a strip mall in the land of steakhouses and taquerias.

Ravenous from a day of sightseeing, I was ready to chow down; after a brief encounter with the menu, I chose the Jalapeno Roll and Chicken Katsu Combination.  The size of other diners' meals seemed average, so I figured this would be "just enough" food.

The Jalapeno Roll arrived, freshly tempura-fried and topped with roe.  I gulped it down too quickly to even remember its ingredients. Then, my entree arrived.

Um, I guess I overlooked the word "Platter" that followed the words "Chicken Katsu Combination" on the menu.

It was a beauty of a dish, complete with a side salad topped with sweet miso dressing, deep fried gyoza, shrimp and vegetable tempura, teriyaki chicken skewer, and, of course, a healthy portion of chicken katsu.  Breaded in panko and fried to a golden brown, it was juicy, tender and perfect when dunked into the accompanying katsu sauce.

I got a few stares since my plates took up more than half of the table.  Luckily, I have no shame.  I worked my way in circles around the platter, and each bite was better than the last.

I left full, happy and completely satisfied with the gracious service provided.  Sushi in Santa Maria?  Proof you should never rule anything out while you're traveling.

Solvang Restaurant

They taste even better than they look!

Solvang Restaurant
1672 Copenhagen Drive
Solvang, CA


It's pretty easy to determine what is sold here.  It's on the wall's menu, it's painted on the window, and it's found in 90% of customers' hands: 3 Aebleskiver with Powdered Sugar and Jam.  It wasn't even until I returned home from my trip that my photos indicated other delicacies like Medisterpolse (Danish sausage) are also sold.

Half the fun is watching these Danish pastries being made by a young woman who constantly turns rows and rows of batter in specially-shaped pans to achieve the desired spherical shape.  When done, they are doused in raspberry jam and finished with a generous dusting of powdered sugar.

The balls of awesomeness are tender, like pancakes, with a slightly crisp exterior that allows them to hold up to the toppings.  Still warm, they melt in your mouth.  I sat on a nearby bench and watched as droves swarmed in to form a line that started snaking along the walk-up window.

Although it wasn't particularly breezy that day, I managed to get powdered sugar all over myself.  Etiquette classes may be in order.

Yolo Fruit Stand

Bargains await!  Just follow the rest of the cars...

Yolo Fruit Stand

46710 County Road 32B

Davis, CA

The first time I came here was a Saturday and, as expected, the place was packed.  But 1:45 on a Thursday?  That's a testament to incredible variety and crazy-ass low prices.

Five heads of garlic for a buck.  Giant eggplant for a buck.  Generous sacks of dried local apricots and pears for fours bucks.  Almost-ripened plums, peaches and bananas begging for one night on your kitchen counter before you devour them.

Also snagged was a big container of peanut brittle...three bucks!  How can you go wrong here?  By not stopping the next time you drive by, that's how.

I've said it once, and I'll say it again.  Don't be a schmuck.  Support your local farmers!

Marie's Donuts

Simply dough-licious.

Marie's Donuts
2950 Freeport Boulevard
Sacramento, CA


MY GOD.

I enjoyed quite possibly the best chocolate donut EVER at Marie's.  It was moist, with just enough chocolate icing and a dusting of Valentines Day sprinkles.  Chocolate donuts generally tend to be on the drier side...not here.

Next up was an old-fashioned with cinnamon and sugar, the likes of which I'd never seen or tasted.  And finally, the lightest glazed twist I've ever shoved into my gullet.

Finishing it all off with chocolate milk was a BAD idea.  So was eating three donuts after a week-long low-carb diet.  Ughhhhhh.....

Romolo's Cannoli & Spumoni Factory

Love at first bite!

Romolo's Cannoli & Spumoni Factory
81 37th Avenue
San Mateo, CA


There's something about a family business that's been passed down through the generations that makes it special.  Romolo's is that kind of place.  Grandsons of original owners Romolo and Angela Cappello run the establishment now, and continue to produce high-quality cannoli and spumoni that patrons have grown to love.

The "factory" does not involve assembly lines or conveyor belts; each cannoli is made to order.  The hardest part is deciding between a classic or chocolate-lined shell, and whether you want the ends to be dipped in pistachios, chocolate chips or simply finished with cherry halves.  Not wanting to hold up the line (okay, there was no line today), I "settled" for one of each.

A large pastry bag was filled with the ricotta cheese mixture, and each chocolate-lined shell was filled to the brim.  After each was garnished, a careful, light dusting of confectioner's sugar finished off the masterpieces.

Everything's better when taken away in pink boxes, so I was thrilled to leave with three snacks' worth of Italian deliciousness.  When I finally got home and took the first bite of my cherry-garnished cannoli, I was in heaven.  The crisp, delicate shell gave way to a rich, cheesy filling.  It was light and decadent at the same time.   I tasted years of love and dedication.  If I could thank the Cappellos personally, I would.  I'll be back, and I'll be sure to try that spumoni next time.

Capitol Garage

All other Eggs Benedict dishes should BOW DOWN.

Capitol Garage
1500 K Street
Sacramento, CA


I won a $25 gift card to Capitol Garage because a local newspaper thought one of my article comments was awesome.  That's right.

I'd heard about their benedicts, and I was in the mood to make a slimy, runny, yolky mess all over...something.  The Garage Benedict proved memorable, as their spin on this classic included roasted apricots, arugula, pine nuts and creamy, melted brie.  Additionally, it easily passed the OSBPEYT (Official Stacy Barawed Poached Egg Yolk Test) which, to benedict connoisseurs, is more crucial a detail than one might imagine.

A simplistic, yet artfully presented breakfast, earned with the power of my own humble little brain...that's how you kick off a weekend!

Spaans Cookie Company

If it's good enough for Grandma,
it's good enough for me.

Spaans Cookie Company
333 4th Street
Galt, CA

Back in the 80s, my Grandma would trek "all the way" to Galt and bring packages of Spaans cookies back to Stockton.  I vividly remember soft, brownie-like mounds of chocolate and thick, buttery crescents studded with almonds.

Luckily, Spaans is still in business and they're still turning out those Fudge Brownie cookies (by the bucket now, hooray!) along with two dozen other varieties.  Among the various samples I managed to shove down my throat when I thought the cashier wasn't looking were the soft, delicate Gingerbread.  Holy moly - I wish I never knew they were only half a gram of fat and 40 calories each.

I'm in trouble.